Aussie Cricket Jokes

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stefeni
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Aussie Cricket Jokes

Post by stefeni »

A guy walks into a brothel, and says:
'I am a bit kinky- how much for total humiliation?'
The madam replies 60 dollars
'Wow, what do I get for that?' he says.
'A baggy green cap and an Australian cricket shirt'.

What do you call an Australian who can handle a bat?
A Vet!
Ho Ho.

What is the difference between Cinderella and the Australian cricketers?
Cinderella knew when to leave the ball

And why isn`t there anybody drinking bottles of wine in Oz right now ?
Because they don`t have any openers….

Q what do you get if you cross the Australian cricket team with an Oxo cube?
A A laughing stock!

Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An Australian batsman putting on sunscreen.

Q. What would Jimmy Anderson be if he was Australian?
A. An all rounder.

Q. What is the main function of the Australian coach?
A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

Q. Why don't Australian fielders need pre tour travel injections?
A. Because they never catch anything.

Q. What's the Australian version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten and Walloped.

Q. What do you call an Australian with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.

Q. What's the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Ponting?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the Australian squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

Q. What do Australian batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come
from.

Q. Why are Australian cricketers cleverer than Houdini?
A. Because they can get out without even trying.

Q. What does Ryan Harris put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost
always takes a wicket?
A. A bat
In transition to the real me, Currently on hold after surgical review until I loose 10kg anyone got a hiding place for it :-) hopefully will be fully the true me now in 2017.
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meakinsl
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Re: Aussie Cricket Jokes

Post by meakinsl »

When I first saw Ponting arguing when clearly wrong thought it might be my wife in disguise, then I saw him bat and I was sure !
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